Saying "Hello" wasn't all easy. Besides the yearning for the loving embrace, there was that feeling that something might have changed. A scary feeling.

But it went away as soon as you held me strongly in your arms, kissed me and called me yours. I felt whole again. Complete. Amazingly happy.

Nothing compares to the good time we have together. Every little pointless anything turns into an epic joke. And there's laughter. And your smile. The sweetest and purest smile.

Now, saying "Goodbye" was the hardest thing ever. Seeing that sweet smile turning into a tearful faded one tore me apart. And I cried like never before. I cried because I already missed you. Because I felt powerless, sitting on the window seat and not able to dry your tears away and hug you tight close to me and say once again how much I love you, how much you mean to me, how much I hate to have to leave your side.

Even though it is merely temporary, even though we speak every day, it hurts. Unbearably. But we'll make it through. Together.

In the end, everything gets right. If it isn't right, it isn't the end yet.

She was always the top gal. Men's gal, girls' gal, gal about town. Or so she felt. Cold blooded, stone hearted. Hurt, but over it. Desired and wanted. But it wasn't enough. Not because she scoffed those who wanted her, but because she wanted something that they wouldn't give her. She wanted Love. She needed Love. She wanted to be desired no by her body, but by her heart. She'd been hurt before, she'd given her heart to some whom didn't want nor deserved it. Ergo, she was scared.

And along came him. He swept her off her feet, like some before. He got her addicted to him, like some before. He made her feel good. Yes, many made her feel happy before. But not like this. Not that much, not that fast. He got her to forget the hurt and put everything else aside. He fell in Love with her. And so did she.

She no longer needs to be gal about town. She feels safe in his arms, warmed by his loving gaze.

In little time, they accomplished what most take years to. In little time, they got to know each other almost better than themselves. She knew he wanted her whole self, and so she gave herself in.

Their Love grew so strong that, even though very recent and utterly fresh, distance was not made a debilitating factor. On the contrary, distance makes their Love stronger. Distance makes them cherish every and each second the spend together, missing each other's embrace and yearning for a kiss.

But above all, Love doesn't fade. No. Love grows.

And it may not last forever. But even though she does not wish to see an end to it never, she keeps every and each memory treasured in her mind and in her heart, savoring each moment as the last one.

Give it a thought (2)

My friends say I have to let go, you are not for me, I may get hurt. But... hell, they don't know how deep I've fallen for you and nobody really understands my feelings, which are turning me crazy. It's been almost a month since the last time I saw you and... damn, I just want to see you again and prove myself wrong, that my stomach doesn't freak out when we exchange looks, that I can look into your eyes and not blush, that I can look into your eyes and see just a friend... But I am afraid of that face to face meeting because they say the truth hurts, and, believe me, loving you hurts...

(my, my...)

Only one thing is certain in life...that whatever you absolutely don't want to happen, will.

(a.k.a.: Murphy's Laws... ¬¬' )

I'm in trouble because I'm normal and slightly arrogant. A lot of people don't like themselves and I happen to be totally in love with myself.

(that's why they call me Narcisus' Nymph =] )

In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.

(Chanel... Coco Chanel. ;] )

just think about it. that's all i ask. i refuse to believe that i mean nothing to you.

(i really do refuse to...)

Yup, it is pretty clear, now. I have done it all wrong. I thought that by hiding my true soft core I wouldn't get hurt, but clearly I was wrong. I grew hard, got my armour on and got beaten down, nonetheless. I fell, but I rose again, twice as hard, twice as determined to hide myself inside this carcass that now imprisons me.

But now... Now the table has been turned and I'm willing to open up, show my true self to the world. Only, the don't believe me. Truth is, I've been inside this carcass for so long, and I have worn it so naturally, that people don't believe that inside, and not too deep inside, I'm just as fragile as any one of them.

People respect me. People look up to me. People are intimidated by me. But it means absolutely nothing to me right now, as I see that it all draws me apart from them.

I don't want this anymore.

I can't undo everything, but I can try to do some damage control.

And what gives me strengh to try is the thought that, when people see that I've changed, I can finally feel the warmth of a loving embrace.

ID vs EGO (1)

"Say what? Ye gonna throw it all up in the air? All we've gathered? All we've accomplished, aye?"

"Oh, please, be so kind and tell us what on Earth we have accomplished."

"We're feared. We're respected. We're looked up at. We enjoy ourselves, mate."

"But still, we're alone."

"Nay, we ain't alone, sire. We 'ave the world with us."

"Being feared and respected had lead us nowhere."

"If it 'avent yet, it will. And most certainly it 'as saved us from falling into traps. We intimidate."

"You really can't see how it affects us, can you? Intimidating people only draw them away from us. It hurts people and it hurts us!"

"Ah, well... 'choo suggest we then, lad?"

"No idea..."

"Precisely, laddie. There ain't no ohter way now. We're way past the point o' no freegging return. We go a'ead or we get keelhauled."

"We don't believe you."

"Oh, really? Then lead us out."


to be continued...

Give it a thought (1)

Boundaries don't keep others out. They fence you in.

(open up, people!)

And I tell myself to just wait. Cinderella didn't find her Prince untill the end of the stoy.

(so did Snow White, Bella, Ariel, Jasmine, Aurora......)

Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.

(a.k.a.: wake up, damn it!)

Sometimes we have to stop and let go of one dream so we can move forward with another.

(yup....)

Heaven won't take me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

(Soooo true.... )0 )

People who don't know me think I'm shy. People who know me wish I were.

(this also happens to be SOOO true =] )

A chapter ends, a new one begins

I think that is one of the best life-related metaphors. Life isn't one great book. No. Life is like Encyclopaedia Britannica or Larousse: you have a book for each set of letter. You get one book, you get a limited amount of information only. If you want to know it all, A to Z, you need the whole collection. One book completes the other. You can go to one particular volume to read a certain something, indeed. But surely, there's something related to that in some other book.

And Life is just like that. You have books for you friends, family, work, college times, stupid things, fights, unforgettable happenings, philosophical thoughts, love. They are all connected. They complete each other. They can be read independently, yes, but you will only know who one really is if you read one's whole collection. A to Z.

Awkward as it may sound, even though all books are updated on a daily basis, according to that person's day, the books don't have the same number of chapters. No. Actually, it wouldn't make sense. Everytime we accomplish something, we end a chapter and start a new one. This new chapter, alike the last one, ought to have many sub-chapters. As many as made necessary to end this new one on the best way possible. This implies, most times, in help from facts (re)written in the other volumes. But sometimes, no matter how many sub-chapters we've written, things go wrong, we get hurt. (Obviously, as it is me writing, i mean mostly the LOVE volume of the collection, but this tends to happen - not as frequently, true - in all of them.) And because we get hurt and things don't work out, no matter how hard we try, we decide to end that chapter and start a new one, in order to (or at least try to) stop suffering.

There. I finally made my point.

Putting a final period on a chapter of LOVE is never an easy, pain-free task. But it might be (very) necessary. It takes nerve, guts and positive thoughts of a brighter future.

I am putting a final period on this chapter of my Life's LOVE so I can let the subject of this past chapter be written on FRIENDSHIP from now on. Maybe up to the very last chapter of all books. Again, this isn't easy, but it is necessary.

Therefore, hereby I start a new chapter of LOVE. G'd knows what lies ahead, but I have many chapters behind to lean on so I won't make the same mistakes again.