Monday, 14 March 2011
Every arrival seems like the first one.
And every departure feels like the last one.
It is hard to leave the one you love behind, even if for little time.
But nothing can be compared to the happiness and thrill of meeting again, falling into his arms, hearing his racing heart and feeling his warmth again.
Yearning for the reunion is what keeps us together.
I'm not McDonald's, you CAN'T have it your way.
(nor any other way, by the way...)
I don't know where I stand right now. All I know is I'm standing on both feet and that's all I need to keep doing.
You can't play the victim this time.
(even though you keep trying SO hard... fool.)
Try really hard not to lose yourself inside your own mind.
(she is completely lost... someone's gotta do something. but not me. not this time. we're through.)
If my life was perfect, I'd be bored and you would have nothing to screw up.
(there's always gonna be a screwer.)
I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?
(my bad.... )
this is how i say "fuck off, i'm done with you, petty traitor".
Saturday, 12 March 2011
It is absolutely and intrinsically useless to try to make it up to someone who doesn't want it.
More than no wanting to make up, the other person wants to be attacked and be on top at the same time. She wants to be attacked because she wants people to feel sorry for her after you do so. And in order to be attacked, she attacks you. Hence she is on top.
But to worsen it out, she victimizes herself. She gets blinded by her own spiderweb of unbearable and unnecessary drama, and makes your will of making it right thinner and thinner. And it will do no good admitting your wrongs to her, because, even if she admits hers, she'll claim they were all caused by you. YOU were wrong. YOU hurt her. YOU are a bastard.
The other person will never ever consider your side. Eventually, by some miracle or demand of a situation, she might say "let's leave it at that, but i was right all along".
The thing is... Gosh, there are so many things. I could go on and on with this 3 ring circus. But I'm tired. She built it up to a point where i lose my sleep and get ulcers just thinking about social networks. And I don't want it anymore. I don't want to talk. I don't want to make it right, even because there is no way of making it right. Everyone can be hypocrite enough to stand a couple of hours around each other with no direct eye contact or word exchange. And both of us can be pretty damn hypocrite. I'm sick and tired of carrying a weight which is not mine to carry. Whatever we've done, we don't deserve this. We never meant no harm, but now, we just want distance.
A while ago I'd say I'm sorry. But now, I just can't say it. I don't like lying.
gmalato: "What's the matter with you? I think your brain is going soft with all that comedy you are playing with that young girl. Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again. Go on."
no matter how deep into shit's creek you are, He's always gonna have the wisest of words.