Friday, 15 April 2011
Seriously, sometimes I think I am a Carrie of some sort. And there's no one to blame but me. I do this to myself. I don't interact, I don't talk. I barely breath. People oughtta think I'm a sociopath or anything like that.
I wanted to be normal. I'd love to be sociable. It does make life tons easier.
Then again, people are hard to deal with. you think you know them and - BANG, you get shot between the eyes. It's life biggest, bitchiest dilemma. Or at least mine.
Sure I'd love to be surrounded by friends, go out every other night. If only they'd demand no or little emotion, 'cause I don't think I can handle a friendship break up like the last.
I'm completely lost, that's the truth.
My bestest are abroad, the others are far. Even the one closest seems way too far.
It was so damn easier when we were all friends by nature.
I don't know how to start a conversation, let alone a friendship. I just can't. so, I won't. Let my friday nights be reserved to studying calculus, political sciences, demand/offer graphs, web doll dressing, make up face chart drawing and self loathing.